An adrenalin spike made me a little light headed as the two instructors put on their beekeeping “hazmat” suits in preparation to visit the two bee hives behind us. I looked around for the rest of our hazmat suits but was mildly aghast to find out there were no suits for the rest of us.. This is when I first considered what the most opportune way might be to save face while bolting out of there.

We all know we need to support bees these days, right? If you don’t then google “bees” and spend the next few minutes being inundated by the plethora of doomsday scenarios. Ok, are we’re back, and thoroughly depressed? Good. Rather than expanding on this mountain of propaganda I’m going to write about my small experience at a beekeeping class.

I’m not sure how not to make this sound dumb but the biggest pleasant surprise from the class was how incredibly not-scary beekeeping was. Yes, I have a small fear of bees.. meaning when I see a bee I look like I’m having a seizure until it’s gone..

I had no idea that, as the instructors talked, we were standing just a few feet away from the two large active hives. There was no buzzing. No swarms. No-one getting killed. It was interesting.

I was… “fine”. I had planned out a position where I could launch myself down the dirt path to safety with a minimum of fuss. My trajectory wasn’t clear but I’d probably only knock down one or two people as I trampled them.. so, not bad.

One of the handlers had long impenetrable gloves on but the other handler had bare hands! I thought she had forgotten her gloves but she was completely comfortable as she pulled the protective cage off.. with her bare hands and, like an inSANE person, proceeded to help the other handler pull the top box off the hive, exposing a blanket of bees! I was torn by my instinct for self-preservation, my concern for the insane lady’s doomed hands, and my desire not to look insane myself to all these calm idiots around me. Peer pressure held me motionless, quietly planning my daring escape and dramatic death scene simultaneously.

After a few minutes, it sunk in that no-one had died, or even been stung yet.. which was weird but.. great.

They explained how being a beekeeper is a lot about timing and understanding different phases each type of bee goes through in their lifetime and how it affects the hive and honey production. There are many things to learn in order to keep bees but it isn’t an unattainable goal. There are also many things to learn in order to feed ourselves or keep a house etc. but we manage that. It is definitely a learnable skill and is definitely not as scary as I felt it was. You don’t need acres of land to keep bees either. Beekeeping is really very accessible.

Even if you’re not considering keeping bees yourself, it’s great knowledge to have. And if you’re interested in urban farming, self-sufficiency, etc. it really is quite exciting!

-Petra

(ps – recount of events are slightly dramatized for comedic effect)